Hours and armies couldn’t keep me away (Haldir) TA 1981
Apr 24, 2018 7:45:51 GMT -5
Post by Mîrioniel on Apr 24, 2018 7:45:51 GMT -5
“I will call you Mîrioniel if you wish,”
To that she gave a single bow of her head, before raising it. She did wish it, on some level, if she had lost her parents, she was no more than any other elf without them. For a time, it would be better that she live a simpler life, to acclimatise herself to it. If her parents could not be found, then she could not take back what she had bequeathed to Galadriel and Celeborn. A new place had to be found for herself, by herself.
“Though I care not if you are stripped of title. You are the one that sent for my Lady, the one who delivered Lothlorien from its turmoil. They need not see it themselves for this to be true, for such is the way of many things.”
It raised a question that Mîrioniel had not consciously thought of: what had she expected of her people in this? The elleth did not require recognition or celebration for taking a step down and bringing new guardians to the Golden Wood. She did not seek to be feted. And no one had openly been hostile, they merely hadn't supported her claim to the throne- something that was likely borne from her parents actions. The more she sought an answer, the more she realised the answer didn't lie with her people, it lie with her. She wanted nothing more than to return to the simplicity of a life she once had.
“I am unsure what you seek forgiveness for, though I assure it is granted. Sick hearts do not act as they normally might, regardless of upbringing.”
It was true, she was more like her mother than she ever realised. All her life, she had tried to emulate the bravery and wisdom of her father, so stately and stable. Yet, in all this, after the arrival of Lady Galadriel, she had acted in a manner so similar to her mother, running from the woodland, trying to refuse the help of an elf not of the Sindar. And then being utterly inhospitable toward those of another race. Haldir, though, had highlighted the similarities she bore to her father, putting her people first, making a decision on their behalf, that had essentially caused her to abdicate. Perhaps not every leader would have made the decision.
"I shall not use their fate as an excuse for my terse behaviour toward you." She replied, there was a note of gentle defiance in her tone, though not directed at Haldir. It was a reminder to herself, that her actions had to speak for themselves, in a manner fitting her former station. She would not seek to offset responsibility for them on her circumstances or those of her parents. It was disingenuous, and disrespectful to Amroth and Nimrodel.
Mîrioniel turned her eyes toward the west, where the Misty Mountains lie, their outlines faint in the distance. This journey would take her past all the sights her parents would have taken in, though her father would never see them again, nor was she destined to see him for many, many years. Automatically, she kept her feet moving, breathing deeply to try and shift the crippling sensation deep in the pit of her stomach. She frowned lightly, this was a new feeling to her, and it was as unnerving as it was distressing.
For many days now, she had reigned in her erring emotions, and she would still further, until she found her mother, or discovered her fate. To that end, she sought to distract herself, and with only one companion, she had no choice but to make an effort to converse with Haldir. Silence was a poor bedfellow to grief.
"I wonder, Haldir, had you not been discharging your duties to Lady Galadriel, would you have still embarked upon this path with me, had you seen me leave alone?" She asked, this time she did look directly at him this time. The sorrow that had tread across her features was lifting, a ghost of it remained, it was clear she was fighting a losing battle. She hoped he would not enquire after it, and merely indulge her whim on this topic.